Indian Supreme Court gave its “ultimate” decision last week, i.e., Live-in Relationships are legal in India now. This made many young people like me to have a healthy discussion over it and we did at a group on a social networking site.
This discussion is still going on (I think now the “flame” of argument has slowed down a bit). I saw one thing in this discussion; the whole group was divided in to 2 parts: supporters and opponents. Supporters were constantly trying to show the IMPORTANCE and positive side of Live-In where opponents were showing their tension for “Bharatiya Sanskriti” and “Bharatiya Rit-Rasm”.
But suddenly from all these people, a few of them created a new group: Neutral… They were ready to accept this “change” in society, but at the same time wanted to follow that typical Indian Mindset…
Well, this is just what I read on that group (of course, I too was a part of this discussion); now let me put my views on Live-In over here.
Before beginning, let me tell u about the culture from where this type of relationship has come, that is American Culture. Their society has quite free mind set. Free doesn’t mean that they allow their children to wear whatever they like, but free in the sense that they encourage their children to be independent. They respect independence of their children and allow them to do whatever they like, because they believe in them. Now again people will say that because of this independence the youth is this level’s worst, but while saying this they won’t think that not all of them are of this type, just like not whole India is made up of Slums or Basti…
Other thing, Live-In came in their life is because children in USA are not assets of their parents, hence as soon as a kid enters in his teen age or in some worse cases as soon as s/he becomes an adult his/her parents allow him/her to live the life in their own way & that’s why there are so many nuclear family in USA. Now being a social animal, living alone is not possible, hence they look for companion. Obviously if u love someone or u r committed to someone u like to be with that person, as we all do after that big big weddings and marriage. So, before getting married this is their way to decide whether they would be comfortable with the partner, because they don’t have their parents to decide their life. That’s why Living-In is so popular with them.
By now u must have understood that I’m in support side of Live-In relationship, but again let me tell u I am not, because Kahani main Twist is:
Live-In is a bit odd for Indian couple, not because of some “Bharatiya Sanskriti” bakwas, but just because even in 21st century children are assets of their parents in India, even though they are old enough to take care of themselves and we youth enjoy this. That’s why we believe that the partner they choose for us is the best for us as they know what is good for us. And that’s why India can never be a super power, because for being a super power we, young people of India have to take initiative to change the society, because having a better economy or a good GDP or annual growth rate is not enough. And where you can’t have same idea even after 5 years then culture having 5000+ yrs old history is not something to be proud of because to make this culture 10000 yr old, we have to make changes in that…. So either forget Live-in relationship or take initiative to change the mindset
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
The difference between Venus and Mars
Today I came across an amazing thought/one liner by a friend of mine. It said, Stri no Prem Ghughavta Mahasagar jevo hoy chhe jyare purush no prem Naigara Falls jevo hoy chhe( Translation, woman loves with all emotions in her, like an ocean where man loves with showing his emotions after a real long time). That remind me of Chandrakant Baxi, one of my favorite authors, he once said that for woman Love is something that starts from her heart and ends at her body, where for man it starts from his body and ends at heart.
That is how totally different Man and Woman are. Man or Male is a logical gender, they always think think & think… Even for loving someone of opposite sex, they’d like (I guess, u all r always welcome to correct me) “Why I like her?”, “Does she like me too?”, “Why is she so mad for me?”, “What is love?”, “How is that possible with me?” etc
We gals don’t understand all these 1s & 0s when it comes about feelings, for us it’s all illogical, we never ever think about such things like “whether that guy would be equally crazy for me” or “Why I love this ‘jerk’”. We just follow our heart in some matters. & that’s y it hurts us most when someone doesn’t stand true on our expectations.
Saw this in ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’, that a guy has three stages for recovery after a break up:
1) sweat pants stage, 2) Going to Strip club stage and 3) Imagine one’s self with other gal/s.
For us there is no such stage, we try to hide our tears from world & open up with close friends, she-friends. This is it, because guys have kept hurting us all the time during the relationship, by not understanding us and by not being mental support for us. Just read a real nice poem by Aesha Dadawala, suggesting same meaning, though it goes for both gender sometimes.
Just a request to all guys out there…. Please try to understand us, we use heart as thinking organ, we do things “direct dil se” & even ur small like atom mistake hurts us real bad.
& yea, don’t give false promise or false hope to any gal, coz she has dreams for her “life”, since she becomes “woman” and it feels too bad when dreams shattered….
No hard feelings for anyone….. Love ya all….
(P.S.: this doesn’t mean that Man doesn’t have feelings)
That is how totally different Man and Woman are. Man or Male is a logical gender, they always think think & think… Even for loving someone of opposite sex, they’d like (I guess, u all r always welcome to correct me) “Why I like her?”, “Does she like me too?”, “Why is she so mad for me?”, “What is love?”, “How is that possible with me?” etc
We gals don’t understand all these 1s & 0s when it comes about feelings, for us it’s all illogical, we never ever think about such things like “whether that guy would be equally crazy for me” or “Why I love this ‘jerk’”. We just follow our heart in some matters. & that’s y it hurts us most when someone doesn’t stand true on our expectations.
Saw this in ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’, that a guy has three stages for recovery after a break up:
1) sweat pants stage, 2) Going to Strip club stage and 3) Imagine one’s self with other gal/s.
For us there is no such stage, we try to hide our tears from world & open up with close friends, she-friends. This is it, because guys have kept hurting us all the time during the relationship, by not understanding us and by not being mental support for us. Just read a real nice poem by Aesha Dadawala, suggesting same meaning, though it goes for both gender sometimes.
Just a request to all guys out there…. Please try to understand us, we use heart as thinking organ, we do things “direct dil se” & even ur small like atom mistake hurts us real bad.
& yea, don’t give false promise or false hope to any gal, coz she has dreams for her “life”, since she becomes “woman” and it feels too bad when dreams shattered….
No hard feelings for anyone….. Love ya all….
(P.S.: this doesn’t mean that Man doesn’t have feelings)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Women Freedom and Brahmkshatriya Mentality
Yesterday it was "International Women's Day", people celebrated it with all sorta "joy" (yea it includes pun & sarcasm). Some statements on Facebook/Orkut make me think that being Indian do they really respect women????????
Talking about women freedom, I never had any problem such as being career oriented or selecting course of my choice etc, which gals of my age are generally just "dream". I knew at somewhat level why I have such privileges, but yesterday I got confirmation from my father himself. He'd written on his Facebook status, something like this:
"Proud to be from a community which has incomparable women freedom since last 200yrs +"
Now u'd think what so great in this status message..well it's these 3 words what makes this status message special, "incomparable women freedom"
People who know me well, know that I'm bold enough to make people discuss on just 1 matter ,i.e. "Dress code for Women/gals @ pilgrim places" for like days & even participating in that so aggressively that people literally asked me if that thing happened to me in real.
Well,that's what I am,or should I say a Brahmkshatriya lady. Yeah, my relatives would understand the meaning of this phrase.
First of all, what are the basic attributes of Brahmkshatriya...
A Brahmkshatriya is generally calm, witty, having large appetite(in short foodie), having good administrative sense, Brahmkshatriya men generally do just two things, earn money & give the responsibility of that earned money to the respective head lady of the house(yes we have "head lady”, not "head man"). About his social liability, first of all, he's generally the most confused person regarding all kinda relations, special blood relations, & becoz of that he can't take any major social decisions like what he is supposed to do at some social function like marriage. In my dad’s words, “ ame loko lagan prasange khali 2 kaam karie, khavanu khaie ane varghodo/procession ma aagal chalie” (translation: we do only 2 things during a wedding, eating and being in front row during procession)
Well, I said, we r generally calm, but this generally has a very big hidden meaning. We can get angry even on a very small matter, arre, we can even get angry when two totally unknown for us persons are fighting. That’s y we claim, Hanuman was Brahmkshatriya (LOL).
Now about Brahmkshatriya Lady…
Well, she is well-read, usually career oriented, habituated of freedom & that’s why can’t tolerate a guy having “Bossing” attitude or in simple words (people who know me) someone exactly like me.
That’s why I had that debate regarding dress code @ pilgrim places, even though I’ve never faced that problem (rem Hanuman thing??? :D)
Oops… In whole this loooooong writing, I forgot to tell u what is Brahmkshatriya? Who are we? Don’t worry, I won’t bore u with that today, I’ll tell that in my next post soon… till then…bbye…
Talking about women freedom, I never had any problem such as being career oriented or selecting course of my choice etc, which gals of my age are generally just "dream". I knew at somewhat level why I have such privileges, but yesterday I got confirmation from my father himself. He'd written on his Facebook status, something like this:
"Proud to be from a community which has incomparable women freedom since last 200yrs +"
Now u'd think what so great in this status message..well it's these 3 words what makes this status message special, "incomparable women freedom"
People who know me well, know that I'm bold enough to make people discuss on just 1 matter ,i.e. "Dress code for Women/gals @ pilgrim places" for like days & even participating in that so aggressively that people literally asked me if that thing happened to me in real.
Well,that's what I am,or should I say a Brahmkshatriya lady. Yeah, my relatives would understand the meaning of this phrase.
First of all, what are the basic attributes of Brahmkshatriya...
A Brahmkshatriya is generally calm, witty, having large appetite(in short foodie), having good administrative sense, Brahmkshatriya men generally do just two things, earn money & give the responsibility of that earned money to the respective head lady of the house(yes we have "head lady”, not "head man"). About his social liability, first of all, he's generally the most confused person regarding all kinda relations, special blood relations, & becoz of that he can't take any major social decisions like what he is supposed to do at some social function like marriage. In my dad’s words, “ ame loko lagan prasange khali 2 kaam karie, khavanu khaie ane varghodo/procession ma aagal chalie” (translation: we do only 2 things during a wedding, eating and being in front row during procession)
Well, I said, we r generally calm, but this generally has a very big hidden meaning. We can get angry even on a very small matter, arre, we can even get angry when two totally unknown for us persons are fighting. That’s y we claim, Hanuman was Brahmkshatriya (LOL).
Now about Brahmkshatriya Lady…
Well, she is well-read, usually career oriented, habituated of freedom & that’s why can’t tolerate a guy having “Bossing” attitude or in simple words (people who know me) someone exactly like me.
That’s why I had that debate regarding dress code @ pilgrim places, even though I’ve never faced that problem (rem Hanuman thing??? :D)
Oops… In whole this loooooong writing, I forgot to tell u what is Brahmkshatriya? Who are we? Don’t worry, I won’t bore u with that today, I’ll tell that in my next post soon… till then…bbye…
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